Better to Start Than to Be Perfect

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This website is a clear example of simply starting and not waiting for perfection. Clearly VERY imperfect and incomplete. And if you were to click on most of the tabs there would be nothing, or something out of date, or something completely irrelevant to life as I know it. And yet… I’m writing.

Being incurably curious about everything and seeing the connections and patterns that run through seemingly disparate ideas and concepts, it’s nearly impossible for me to tease apart the connections to find The One Thing that I’m to do.

This leaves me in a constant state of multi-directionality (seeing the possibility of going in every direction, it being the right direction and the right connection), which can lead to either paralysis and seeking chocolate or scurrying about my office from one corner to the other with no particular like a mouse one of my cats may be chasing (and never catching).

Even this post has perambulated. Fewer than 200 words and I’ve written and deleted several hundred.

The point is to START.

When all options are equal, (and equally interesting) it’s more important to choose than to choose the right one. Sharon Little

Waiting for everything to be right and planned and strategized and written out and listed and scheduled and evaluated and sorted and decided upon and perfect and vetted and focus grouped and surveyed and properly packaged does not work for me. And probably not for you, either.

There is a place for all of that.

I’ve done the Act on the Impulse and Start Without Any Clue What I’m Doing or Where I’m Going as well. There is a place fo that as well.

I had this on my wall for ages. I’m not sure its presence on my wall helped me DO anything, but it may well have.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation.

There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen events, meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would have come their way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!”  W.H. Murray

SO… don’t wait for circumstances to be perfect. You’ll be dead before that happens. Trust that once you move, you can change direction. And just to be clear. There WILL be mistakes, bloopers, false starts and slightly embarrassing results. They’re inevitable. Instead of running from them, embrace them, look for them… but START.

Now, go… start on ANYTHING. Even for 5 minutes.

Doing It Cause I Said I Would

NASA Sees Hurricane Sandy as the "Bride o...

Pre-Frankenstorm, which isn’t going to hit us directly and which is a better word than Frankenweenie, I think. Sunday night. Rain. Cat on forearm, anchoring me, connecting with me, purring.

This, Day 13 of my 30-day post a day challenge, is an exercise in persistence, commitment, discipline, imagination and learning. Nothing more and certainly nothing less.

At this point, I don’t care about links, about comments, about new likes or follows. I don’t check. And if you’ve liked the  a post,  or follow the blog, thank you and I’ll check in on your blog at some point. But right now, this is for me. I need to do this. And I need to write something of . At least for me… and maybe for others. If it’s of value to you, let me know. If not, that’s OK, too.

What IS this?

I decided to post something every day for 30 days, starting on October 12, the new Moon of Libra, come hell or high water, the latter of which is much more likely and indeed, were I living in Wawa, Ontario, or in the path of Hurricane Sandy, would be even more probable. I could ostensibly beg high water if I wanted to quit. The hell part, well, that could have been in BC had the earthquake been stronger and/or further south.

This is meant to establish a rhythm, a steadiness from which I can expand. It’s manageable and doable. If I set the bar higher, it would be difficult to succeed. Small wins, small steps towards a more productively creative, a more predictably creative, a more prolifically creative life. Writing is part of that.

I seek to live an imaginative, creative life (and I blog off and on about it here) and I’m trying to get my soul-infused act together, which means, for me, to create rhythm in my life and to be consistent about things. Oh, and to not get so distracted by… well, pretty much anything. The problem is I’m interested in everything and have some capacity to manage many things. And so I do. Or, I did… more than I do now.

But , I still try to put too many things in a day. Even today. Once I finish this, I have a meditation to do, which I should have done earlier today, but didn’t, and there was more, but I’m committed to doing it…and so…

I do  this, and mark my steps along the path with stickers as I wrote earlier. No one would yell at me if I stopped. I could stop. No roof would fall, the world wouldn’t end and I could start something new.

But I won’t and… I won’t. Somewhere in me, and it’s been going on for a time this year, there is a deep-seated drive to do more, other, better, different, beyond, what is possible and potential not just probable. I have a clear vision of where this will lead, but am not sure yet of everything that will carry me there. I do know that I have to do this. Now.

Tomorrow is the Full Moon of Scorpio. Following this cycle and rhythm is part of the need that I’m meeting— using the energies of the time to move myself forward.

My astrologer friends have spoken about the following in connection with this full moon, in no particular order. I add them here just as fodder for thought.

  • Scorpio brings the hidden into the light
  • it’s the sign of death… not necessarily physical, but, yes, that, too.
  • the esoteric keynote is Warrior am I and from the battle I emerge triumphant
  • the US presidential elections always occur during Scorpio (wonder what it would look like in, say, Taurus or Leo… or any other time!)
  • this is a time to truly choose the spiritual, soular, higher self path and battle the forces that would keep us more engaged with personality distractions and lower drives.(quelle joie!)

Bottom line: can I/we live from our higher principles, no matter what… come hell or high water?

I’ve chosen a particular head of the Hydra to deal with during this Full Moon time. You can read a bit about it here. And, like this challenge, and the other daily practices I’ve committed to, I am going to battle this one to … its death.

Frankenstorm… referring to what could happen when the storm that just passed us and Hurricane Sandy get together for a meetup— a pretty good name for the Full Moon of Scorpio time,   I think.

The Struggle

We’ve moved into Scorpio this evening.

Trial, Test, Triumph.

Stay committed. Stick to it. Struggle through Transformation.

Expose the fear, shed the fear, get to the heart of it. Let Neptune transform it.

Dig in. Face the limitations, the obstacles, the tests… I’m gonna get it done.

“Warrior am I and from the battle I emerge triumphant.”

If you don’t have a spiritual struggle, get one… what is the spiritual struggle.

With Saturn now in Scorpio, it’s now time to grow up, overcome the emotional chaos. Commit to the transformation.

What behaviours need releasing? Still, again. More? Are there more? What transformations are possible this month?

My ‘secret’ project begins tomorrow morning. Let’s do it. I’m keeping it secret to keep it sacred. Day by day. Moment by moment. Step by step.

It’s gonna be a fight.

To a triumphant finish.

Routines, Limits and Creativity-Breaking the Rules

I broke all my rules this morning. (Rebel)

And I did it to fuel my creative self. (Good girl)

I slept in until after 8 (nearly three hours late), I didn’t do Morning Pages, Meditate, Mantra and heart coherence, Qi Gong or read right off the bat as I usually do. I had a quick bowl of Chex  rather than the hearty grains and chia and hemp and kefir concoction, and contemplated changing the homemade cocoa (recipe below) to a cup of Murchie’s CBC blend tea, but that was as I was pouring the drink. I left the house with my morning routine in tatters and went to a business showcase in the next town.

It’s Saturday. I remember it being housecleaning day as a child. It was watch cartoons and eat whole wheat Shredded Wheat rather than eggs and toast. (yup, on Saturdays, all hell broke loose at breakfast!) Saturday should be about something more relaxed than the rest of the week, but, seeing as I’m trying to corral my distractions, stay focused and keep the end in mind, I’ve been disciplining myself quite rigourously. And I need to stop some of that.  You CAN go overboard.

Routine? Discipline? Limits? and Creativity? They go together?

Creatives claim that limits and structure and discipline limit their capacity for creativity. They say that they need total freedom to contact whatever it is we contact that fuels the creative fire. Creatives claim that setting a schedule is impossible and, worse, useless.

This is hogwash of the highest order. Or disorder.

The reality is that the most successfully, consistently, productively creatives have a routine, some kind of regimen.

My morning routine and other “systematic” actions give me intense freedom within set limits.

When I follow the routine I’ve set, when I sit down and follow a task list, when I plan out my time, I eliminate a lot of possibilities, usually the ones that are distracting and take my eyes way off the goal. It sets the ground so that the niggly little things run under the radar, and the more important things have their time and space in my head and life.

But sometimes, you have to break the routines. They can become too restrictive. It’s not good when I get up and feel completely BOUND by the limits I’ve set myself. Eventually, the rhythm of work can move from a dance groove to a dried mud rut.

Today, I broke the routine. Intentionally. That’s the critical piece.

When we set out, with good intentions, to develop a good habit, or untrain ourselves from a bad one, we often go about it mindlessly. We don’t mean to miss, but we do, just because we forgot. We follow the same path every day and it becomes not only subconscious, but unconscious and unthinking.

I guess what I’m trying to build into my practice is the quality of conscious choice, of mindfulness, of clear awareness of how and where I move, think, speak and act.

The challenge was, though, could I still complete the things that I’ve set out as daily actions (meditation, mantra, morning pages, reading, movement—qi, walking, stretching—a blog post) but in a different order, at a different time, in a different place, even? Would I forget something? Because usually, once I’ve ‘done’ the morning, I’m off to the next thing.

Our brains seek novelty. New colours, textures, shapes and sounds, new places, new people, new experiences—these all stimulate our brains in a good way. I regularly go into new shops and just look around. I spy on the new colours, the shapes… and then walk out. (yup, I do! ) It wakes me up and sets up new neural connections. I’m good with that.

In the interest of novelty and poking at my brain,  I took my mala with me and did the mantra as I was driving. I asked questions or engaged every vendor (connect with new people and friends, ask people’s names, create new connections). I walked along the old railway line for the first time, then discovered the snowmobile trail that runs parallel. (new colours, sounds, smells). Went into the town’s grocery store (almost never go there).

Drove home. Shortened morning pages, a shortened reading time. Yes, not ideal, not what is most helpful, but today, it was enough.

And now… day 6 of the 30 day post a day challenge… done at a different time of day. Done and done.

Here’s that cocoa recipe… it’s pretty easy.

Mix cocoa powder ( I use Camino brand) with 1/2 tsp each of raw cane sugar and cinnamon. For variety, add 1/4 tsp ginger.

Pour in hot milk or milk substitute, just a little to start, to make a paste of the powders. Then stir well. Sit down with a good book or a lap cat and look out the window. Don’t do whatever was on your to-do list. Just for the next 15 minutes.

 

 

My “To NOT Do” List

Let’s see if this phrasing helps:

For today I will NOT:

  • try to accomplish more than is realistically possible
  • say ‘yes’ to anything new
  • add anything more to the ‘to do’ list
  • spend time on things that aren’t related to what needs to be done today

Hmmm…..

Really, it’s all about choice. About what to do about the BSO’s (bright shiny objects) that come across our path, or, (as those of you who have seen the movie, UP, will recognize)

SQUIRREL!!!

We are living in a distracted, attention-dispersed and fractured world, constantly living with the opportunity to tune in to any number of ideas, events, thoughtforms, emotions. Metaphorical squirrels lead us away from what is right in front of us.

As a friend recently observed, the challenge is to walk the tightrope. We keep walking, one foot in front of the other, eyes focused ahead, not looking down or to the side. This is what my friend, Lawson, wrote:

Ah, the tightrope walker. The rope stretched from here to there. No focus upon the feet yet they are trained to the feel of the rope. The long bar extended left and right balanced at the heart. At the centre of the heart and at a point above is the anchor point. Here I am. Walking between the two great lines of force.

At this time of year, we walk “between two great lines of force” in nature—in this part of the world we are balanced precariously between autumn and winter. The weather reflects it; one day, one moment is calm, warm and sunny; the next is blustery, rainy and bone-chilling.

I’m watching for the two great lines of force in my life these days.

 

Finding the Mus(e)ic Again

The challenge for any artist is, primarily, to show up to one’s art. There are all kinds of ways not to show up. Doing the dishes, hanging out on email or facebook, working, watching TV, taking care of the family… the To Do list goes on, as does life. Then you wake up at the end of your life and realize- you didn’t become the artist you wanted to be. And it would have been so easy.

One of my ways has been to find interesting jobs that take time and a number of talents. Work that pays the bills and allows the creativity to move. Managing a farmers’ market, writing and strategizing for a cultural non-profit, teaching music lessons, starting a youth band, founding a women’s choir.

Ten years ago I graduated from the Musicianship & Leadership Program with Music for People. It was four years of growing, personally and musically. Four years of driving 2 000 km, four times a year to workshops. Four years of Homeplay, teaching, facilitating, thinking and busting through, over, under and around obstacles. And thanking them for the opportunity.

In my head, I knew I could make a life and a living with this. But I haven’t. Detours, Distractions, Dilly Dallying… it’s all added up to a very interesting, imaginative, musical, artful, creative life, but My Music -I’ve ignored it. Completely. Serendipity would have it that I created some work for this month and next— two days of work in a school. This past weekend, I spent a weekend coming out of the Shadow Artist role I’ve played, knowing I’d been missing making music. I made the trip to my first Music for People weekend since 2000.

I celebrated my 10th anniversary of graduation with 3 others who graduated at the same time, on the weekend of 10-10-10. Four new grads joined us, making it 100 MfP grads to date. The numerological significance of this did not slip by me.

At home, I wandered around our bush, on a sunny Thanksgiving Monday, camera in hand. I sang into the woods, I kept silence as my friend, I listened to the leaves rustling— and tried to imitate the sound, I made some photos, thought about “Art” and, let my mind travel.

As one job has ended, time has been released. With harvest in full swing, the house will be empty much of the time. I’ve reduced the number of teaching hours. We’re heading into the quiet season, the deepening time, the period of going inside.

Today I began the recovery process. Along with my meditative and study  practice, I’m committing to spending 1 hour each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning… making music. No phones, no computer, no dishes, mail, cleaning, making lists… just music.

And I will see where music takes me over the next two months.